New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
