I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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