is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
