I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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