we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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