its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
