Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
