we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
