Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
