But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize