# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
