left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
How does one acquire holy water?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
