you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
