Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
And then he peed in my hair
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