I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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