I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize