dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
