Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
