Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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