I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
In America we eat man semen.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
