Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Your topless pictures make me question reality
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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