Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
