can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
