dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
