the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
