Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
