i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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