White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize