shes about as inviting as chlamydia
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
