The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
