She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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