forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
