She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
