these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
