You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
