man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
