it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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