i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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