i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
