Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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