i may or may not be watching the land before time
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
