Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
