is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
