No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
