Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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