Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
