One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
one two three fourrrrnication!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
