There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
