I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
