Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
