I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
