I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
