just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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