if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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