The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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