i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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