it hurts more in the daytime
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
