By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
