There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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