vagina is talking i cant
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize