We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
