dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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