Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...