That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man