I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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