Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Farmville is her only friend.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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